Chili’s Grill & Bar Almost Destroyed My Marriage.

Sahily Ho (@mythosmemes)
4 min readSep 11, 2022
Photo by sk on Unsplash

Listen, Chili’s did apologize for the negative experience, but I’m too sad, dude. No coupon will ever pay for the next four months of therapy.

I ordered a burger to go for my husband. That’s it. That’s all. One burger. “Hi, I’d like a burger.” Is that a complicated order? I don’t think so.

After a 55 minute wait, I was given a large nylon bag with warm contents in it. I was in a hurry because it was 10pm and my husband was really hungry so I ran out of there and drove home. To my surprise, when I got home, the so-called burger was A PATTY in the middle of a large to-go box.

I stared at it for too long. My mouth couldn’t utter a word. I thought there might have been a mix up. Perhaps it was a prank. I called the place, still staring at the box.

My hungry husband rubbed his hands in front of his chest, walking toward me in a hoodie. I watched his semblance switch to horror as I told the person on the phone my predicament. The manager apologized. As I predicted, it was a mistake, I thought. Then, she went on to say I didn’t specify if I wanted the cheese or the bun.

WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT? I paid $13 for one dry ass patty.

Photo by Izzy Park on Unsplash

Her response was so ridiculous, I wasn’t mad. I thought it was one of the most hilarious things that have ever happened to me.

My husband thought the opposite. Developing a unibrow, he toasted some bread and slapped a bunch of sauce on the dry beef patty. He abused the toaster and slammed the fridge door, realizing there was no cheddar cheese. Oh, pepper jack — thank God — but the last slice was growing mold. He grunted. I could feel his hate for our local Chili’s Grill & Bar growing.

In what world do you order a burger to then receive just one ingredient? It’s like ordering cake, and getting a bag of flour. Obviously, this manager had to be on Xanax or something. My husband stomped around the kitchen and shook his arms for comedic effect. I knew he was serious when he yanked a bag of frozen corn out of the fridge and started microwaving it because nothing indicates…

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